You know, fellas, if you want to know what your lady likes in the bedroom, you could always just ask her; communication is a pretty important part of a healthy sex life.
But for those who would prefer not to have that conversation, there’s a plethora of dating experts out there all offering slightly different advice, and you’ll just have to hope that some of it applies to your situation.
That’s an hour of rote, tedious boinking done, now back to doomscrolling (Getty Stock Photo)
Among these dating experts is Jana Hocking, host of the Jana with a J podcast, who claimed in news.com.au the thing loads of guys do which they mistakenly think is right is trying to last for absolutely ages between the sheets.
The dating expert said that given the choice between sex lasting 30 seconds or one hour, she and her girlfriends would choose the shorter option, and see it as the ‘biggest compliment ever’.
It should probably be stressed that neither 30 seconds nor one hour is the preferred time for a raunchy romp. A study into the sex lives of 500 couples found that men thought the ideal time was 16 minutes. They also reckon they lasted about nine minutes and on average made it to about six minutes.
That’s counting from the point of penetration, not foreplay, by the way, while another study of 4,000 women found that ladies wanted sex to last for about 25 minutes.
So 30 seconds is too short, and an hour is way too long.
As for the dating expert’s take, Hocking said that men might have got some bad ideas from ‘ridiculous porn videos that go on forever’, and think that it’s important to last a really long time.
She said that women did not want to spend ‘an hour in bed doing the same thing over and over again’, which frankly does sound tedious.
Extolling the virtues of a quickie, she said it was better than a ‘boring long session’ and was ‘less stressful’ as those getting it on didn’t have to worry about ‘lasting the distance’.
She also said ‘variety’ in sex life was a good thing and turning sex into a routine wasn’t great.
Plus when she’s talking about sex lasting 30 seconds she’s not talking about things like foreplay, which the dating expert described as an ‘appetiser’.
The dating expert suggested mixing things up so that your sex life wasn’t just minutes of passionless humping (Getty Stock Photo)
She suggested that rather than spending ages of time on the act itself you might prefer to spent the main slice of your amorous moments ‘building anticipation and desire’ up until the point where it all climaxes in a… well, you know.
So there you go. This isn’t licence to call 30 sweaty seconds a job well done, so much as to say that repetitively thrusting away for an hour with little else going on might make for an impressive display of stamina, but is perhaps not the most fun experience you could be having with each other.
